What I thought was horrible heart break ended up being the greatest blessing. Before we married, Roscoe and I learned to rejoice in the relationships that did not work out and to be glad about the plans that fell through. Often, in life our greatest disappointments are the biggest blessings.
I spent plenty of Valentine's Days by myself. In fact, Roscoe is my first and only Valentine. Prior to meeting him, I allowed my loneliness to guide my emotions about being single. I was a planner. I did not want to just know there was light at the end of the tunnel, I wanted to know how to get there and exactly the day and hour I would walk into that distant light. One day I decided to focus on the plans God has in store for me. While we were single, there were several things we had to relinquish into his hands. For me, that meant control. I had to take the limits off God and allow His plan to work in my life and put my plans away.
Finally, I reached a place where being in a relationship was no longer a priority for me. Whether God sent him the next day or years from that point was not my concern. I became content and rested in the close relationship I was developing with God. This did not mean I did not have desires, but I moved away from being controlled by my loneliness into being content with knowing God is in control.
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